Another drunken rich chick doing a stupid thing story. (Hmm...should I start a category for this?) We were at Minnie's last night when a carload of drunken Belltown girls pulls off one of the most amazing parallel parking jobs I've ever seen...almost, that is.
She had at most two feet to work with, and was actually in the spot, but just kept on going & nailed the car behind her. The girls look around furtively. Unfortunately for them they're right in front of a bank of diner windows--it's like trying to get away with something in front of Hopper's Nighthawks. We're laughing our heads off at them. The chick in the front seat sees us, covers her face in embarassment and makes a phone call...the usual way of escaping uncomfortable situations these days I guess.
Undeterred, the driver does the forward-back-forward Austin Powers thing in the stall, and hits the car *again*. Our laughing escalates & they have the full attention of the whole smoking section now. Up until this point I think they were planning on coming inside. Now even the chick in the back seat who had been trying to communicate something to me covers her face, and they get out of there as fast as they can.
As we left, we checked--there was no damage to the car. Just damaged appearances.
Tonight I got to see a drawbridge on Puget Sound in action. The first time this enormous concrete structure swiveled open, perpendicular to the road, to allow a barge of comparable enormity pass through, I watched in awe from my bike. What a majestic hunk of concrete.
An hour's worth of majestic concrete hunk swivelings later the awe had somewhat...uh...faded. Hunger, hunger took its place.
I just whacked off all my shaggy dog hair & dyed it platinum blonde, because black was already taken by the 10 million other hipsters here on Capitol Hill. So now I look like Max Headroom.
"Hey k-k-kids, it's cool to stut-t-t-ter. P-p-pepsi b-b-blows!"
Dream in which I am in love with a girl with a moldy tongue. Still, I love her just the same.
Dream in a which a raging mudslide sweeps through the valley below us. After it retreats, we begin to debate the change that has come over the landscape. I contend that nothing has changed. My mother, who is a small house to my right, maintains the opposite. She falls silent & I can tell she is very upset with me.
Dream in which an enormous spindly spider creeps down the wall toward me. Even in the near darkness of the room I can detect its metallic sheen. "It was forged in the extreme cold of pre-fork Time," the voice tells me.
When I was 15, I was asked by the Inquiring Photographer at the Rolla Daily News what I'd be doing for my 4th of July. "Blowing up things," was my response. Mom & Dad were mortified when my smiling mug appeared in the paper with this caption, next to pictures of other decent upstanding citizens with far more boring answers.
So what will I be doing this 4th of July?