Girl behind counter at art store on north 6th: there's this one piece in there that I really want. I keep going in and coveting it. It is a gold-plated bunch of bananas clumped around a slice of banana trunk: a veritable golden banana bowl.
As I'm sitting there basking in its glory, the idea occurs to me, what if I buy this, and there's a break-in, and during the struggle I reach for this rather heavy clump of gold-plated bananas, and I end up bashing the attacker's head in with it? How will the headline read? We discuss this. The article will probably just say "with a blunt object"--newspapers never descend into the interesting, the actual, details.
But what if the headline did read "area man kills attacker with clump of gold-plated bananas," and then goes on to never mention that detail again in the 10-line article? Boy, that would be great. I should definitely buy the bananas. And hope someone foolishly tries to attack me.
Posted by Alan at October 15, 2006 11:12 PM