the world has turned and left me here

Yeah, maybe if I wouldn't publish them on the internet, all of these embarassing stories about me wouldn't leak out. I realize how completely strange that must be to ... complete strangers. But it seemed like a good idea at the time... I mean it worked for the field near the middle school. They always had a nice annual burning to keep the brush down. Wait... was that to promote wildlife? If that's the case then it's not like that.

Too bad it wasn't cool not to have pubes in 8th grade; I would have been the coolest kid in gym class.

well, you let the cat out of the bag jeff, so i'll share a story related to this.

during my freshman year of college my roommate for whatever reason decided to shave off his pubes. being young of face to begin with, he immediately realized he had made a mistake, that he was now indistinguishable from a 12 year old boy. at least, his girlfriend kept telling him this and saying it made her feel like a perv.

it was all the same to me...until one night i came back late from studying. as i opened the door onto darkness, the rectangle of light just so happened to fall evenly on the naked, cherubic figure of my roommate sleeping next to his girlfriend. it was deeply disturbing to me at the time. no one wants to see their buddy as the depubed subject of a real-life caravaggio.

Hey, Alan, check this out...

http://jefflentz.blogspot.com/2006/04/wake-fuck-up_03.html

I know there has to be a word for that kind of thing happening. I want to use "Chaos Theory" but I'm not sure that it applies and wouldn't want to prove my ignorance by abusing a word like that. Is there a word for the way that events that are not that unlikely quickly become next to impossibly when taken in series with other events that are not that unlikely?

I hope I'm not cramping your space with too many comments... I guess your blog wasn't used to that. But I need your knowledge! And you're the Go-To Nerd! Don't withhold your teat of knowledge!

you mean i looked like a 12 year old with a bad case of herpes. fuck man. i used nothing but a razor, a shitty pair of scissors, and shower water. what the hell was i thinking?

i still have a half-full bottle of medicated gold bond powder and a half-full bottle of medicated gold bond lotion. as much as i hated the pain, the wonderful cooling sensation and rapid evaporation of the pain almost made it worth it.

i remember almost throwing up when i looked at myself in the mirror. i suddenly remembered what i looked like when i was ten and it just felt so wrong.

Hey Alan, I read this paragraph in XLR8R about Mogwai's major influences and thought of you: Eric Satie-Barry Burns is influenced by this iconoclastic French avant-gardist; both construct moving yet estranged piano compositions (see "Team Handed" from Mr. Beast). Like Mogwai, Satie was also one hilarious dude, crafting bizarrely titled compositions like "Dried Up Embryos" and "Genuinely Flabby Preludes (For A Dog)."

men with pubes gross me out way more than men without. ---and jeff is not a boy, yet not a man, to kind of quote britney spears.

she's finally good for something.

hi joe: did you like the new mogwai? it didn't sound mogwaish enough to me. kind of like the latest BoC. more song-based + more guitar = more touring possibilities maybe?...because who's gonna shell out $25 to see a guy play pattycake with his laptop? i hope these bands are not finally cashing in on their distinguished careers...everyone should cash out before they reach the "jose canseco point."

ash: well are you happy with the result? :) really, i don't know why i just asked that. like i said, since jeff appeared on the scene here shit has been getting out of control.