However I feel compelled to spare this one little priceless incident from the broad stroke of summary. Jake & Penelope & I are hanging out, and Jake decides to fashion himself a helm out of a plastic grocery bag. He cuts a hole in it for his face, and then decorates the hole with a sharpie marker, adding whiskers and ears and the little forehead inscription, "Hi, I'm Billy." It is the dumbest thing any of us has ever seen but he insists on going outside with it on.
We're on the porch steps when bum #2819 walks up and asks for a cigarette.
"Sorry dude, I have oral herpes," Jake tells him. "Normally I would." The bum clearly doesn't believe him but there's no arguing with such matter-of-factness. The bum kindly offers him a dip out of a carmex container. Jake declines.
When he asks if we can spare some change instead, Jake instead pulls out his fantastic garbage bag helm and says, "You know, I've spent all night making this & I really want you to have it. I want you to wear it around proudly."
The bum just stands there, frozen, utterly thrown off, unsure whether he's just been delivered a serious insult or if he just happened to meet someone far nuttier than himself. Jake holds up the bag, waiting for the bum to assist him in this seriously strange beknighting ritual. Eventually the bum walks off in disbelief.
Posted by Alan at August 21, 2005 08:19 PM