Normally I don't gripe on trivialities, but seriously, what the hell is up with padlocked toilet paper rolls? As if I'm going to steal your toilet paper & run to my getaway car. Please.
And who would want to anyway, when using it is like wiping your ass on fine-grained sand paper, or at best one of the Dead Sea Scrolls? "I would have wiped but your toilet paper was so smooth and fragile that it disintegrated upon contact with my buttskin."
Posted by Alan at May 3, 2005 03:08 PMHey Brah!
Speaking of all things bathroom, I have an embarassing confession to make. I always thought a "courtesy flush" was to cover the sound of you shitting. Aparently, it was invented to suck the smell into the toilet.
Once again, the world has lied to me. It was only last week I found out that there is no such thing as baby carrots. They are just big carrots cut into small carrot shapes. What else have I been decieved by?
Posted by: Ed at May 4, 2005 12:00 PMI once saw a late night infomercial for a toothbrush holder that plugged into an outlet and, beneath a protective lid, boiled the germs out of your toothbrush. Because, as I learned, every time you flush, a giant neon pink cloud of fecal matter billows up out of your toilet. Unlike most gases, this fecal cloud doesn't expand evenly to fill all available volume, but rather actually shrinks in volume as it makes a beeline for the unsuspecting toothbrush you so foolishly left on your counter, where it comes to rest.
So what I'm saying is...in a world without courtesy flushes or toothbrush boiler-holders, we'd be brushing our teeth with our ass every morning.
Posted by: Alan at May 5, 2005 11:50 PM