October 18, 2003

think of the number 7

Tossing and turning last night I thought I was going crazy, crazy just like Kerouac's nervous breakdown at Big Sur, my mind kept jumping from thing to thing & I couldn't stop it, all were ridiculous things to think about at 4:45 am. I have never experienced anything like it and hope I never will again. Had a convincing sense of not actually existing, but the terrible thoughts kept coming & coming, from somewhere, not me, because "me" didn't exist. To keep myself sane I heard my voice start repeating, "Just think of the number 7. The number 7."

Clearly, when the thought of the number 7 is the only thing keeping you sane, you're not.

Posted by Alan at October 18, 2003 08:44 PM
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